1. |
Intro
00:41
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2. |
Despite What I Said
02:37
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Don't wake up, I'm feeling
So depressed, not healing
I can't help believing
There's nothing here worth keeping
I told you I'm sorry
But you just keep calling
Please hang up, quit stalling
Stop all this pain you're causing
Yes, I know I make mistakes
I never said I'm perfect
You know we feel the same
As if this shit's not worth
It's hard to address
All these words in my head
But despite what I said
I don't really want to be friends
Don't wait up, I'm bleeding
It's hard to find meaning
In those that mistreat me
But god, it feels good leaving
And now I can move on
You fucked up and you're gone
So I'll do what I want
Without the threat of your thorns
Yes, I know I make mistakes
I never said I'm perfect
You know we feel the same
As if this shit's not worth
It's hard to address
All these words in my head
But fuck what I said
I don't really want to be friends
This is the part where you fuck off for good
You have some nerve showing your face around me
Who do you think you are?
Walking back into my life like nothing fucking happened?
What do you need now? Money?
Did you finally get dumped?
Well, news flash
You weren't around when I needed you
You said I was nothing
But nothing is all you'll ever get
Really want to be friends
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3. |
My First Semester
03:44
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It was a summer to remember
But a fall to make me gag
I'm not who I always thought I'd be back then
It's hard to think you're something
When nothing's all you've been
Treat yourself like shit like high school friends once did
But living in the past is not a healthy place to be
It's hard to find yourself in things you wish you hadn't seen
I'm falling asleep again
To sounds of an old box fan
I'm anxious inside my head cause
The echoes from my youth
Ring out through this empty room
I recall my first semester
As the few times I cried
In front of my mom since grandma died one night
It was seven years of torture
I couldn't seem weak
In front of those who expect perfection from me
It's hard to hear I love you from those that I hold close
It doesn't seem to matter when I tend to need it most
I'm falling asleep again
To sounds of an old box fan
I'm anxious inside my head cause
The echoes from my youth
Ring out through this empty room
It's hard to accept myself
When I can't even ask for help
Assume there's just no one else who
Could see through these eyes
I'll just take my own side this time
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
How things end up with you and me
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I think I need to get some sleep
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
How things end up with you and me
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I think I need to get some
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
How things end up with you and me
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I think I need to get some sleep
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
How things end up with you and me
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I think I need some fucking sleep
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4. |
Belmont
02:55
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I haven't seen your face
Since I drove to Belmont to give you back your things
I replaced
The clothes you stole and the gifts you wanted back
I retraced
The steps we took as I looked into your eyes
You erased
Your blame but you're not faultless
I'm sorry if I'm the problem
I wish I wasn't too
But my needs and my fears
They fall on deaf ears
And it's too late to say I need this
With my back against the wall
'Cause you're not who I thought
Would end up tearing me in two
And every night we drove out
To look out at the lights
As the clock hit three A.M
We watched the city burn with time
If I'm being honest
It seemed our future was as bright
But when the flames engulfed your feelings
It left me stuck inside my mind
I'm sorry if I'm the problem
I wish I wasn't too
But my needs and my fears
They fall on deaf ears
And it's too late to say I need this
With my back against the wall
'Cause you're not who I thought
Would end up tearing me in two
I'll place my bets I'll never see you again
There's more to life than hoping this never ends
And though I'm sure that letting go is a must
I'm left here asking was I ever enough?
I'm sorry if I'm the problem
I wish I wasn't too
But my needs and my fears
They fall on deaf ears
And it's too late to say I need this
With my back against the wall
'Cause you're not who I thought
Would end up tearing me in two
Tearing me in two
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5. |
Get Better
02:59
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Do you even want to fucking get better
Or is it better if we say goodnight
It doesn't matter if we even stay together
It's pretty clear I never cross your mind
Did you let go
Of the toxic way you think
Did we both know
That our ship was set to sink
Our feet were steady as we started from the finish line
You were ready to give up at the exit sign
While I struggled you insisted you were doing fine
There's words left unsaid
Do you even want to fucking get better
Or is it better if we say goodnight
It doesn't matter if we even stay together
It's pretty clear I never cross your mind
I told her I don't know if I can just forget her
She told me I should seek therapy
'Cause I'm a problem that she can't seem to remember
I guess we're better as a memory
The words that you said
They crawl and they tread
Inside of my head
I feel so misled
I can't leave my bed
You make me feel dead
Of course I'm sorry for the time I wasted in your sights
I'll be sure to read the script so I step in time
Unless you grow up we will never fucking make it right
There's words left unsaid
Do you even want to fucking get better
Or is it better if we say goodnight
It doesn't matter if we even stay together
It's pretty clear I never cross your mind
I told her I don't know if I can just forget her
She told me I should seek therapy
'Cause I'm a problem that she can't seem to remember
I guess we're better as a memory
So I'm the only one that wants to get better
I guess it's better if we say goodnight
It doesn't matter if we even stay together
It's pretty clear I never cross your mind
I told her I don't know if I can just forget her
She told me I should seek therapy
But she's a problem that I wish I can't remember
I guess we're better as a memory
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6. |
24
02:29
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I've got stacks of paper and pens
But the writing's on the walls
I can't even solve my problems
So how could I write this song
About being older or wiser
While living with my mom
I've got class three times a week
But my life feels so fucking stalled
Can we talk progress, the lack of
And everything between
Some days feel so productive
If I'm not tearing at the seams
I can't focus or sit still
God knows what's with me
I keep dwelling on the past
As well as who I couldn't be
I just wish I could be something more
But what the fuck is being something more
I'd count these lucky stars if I could make it to twenty-four
And who's to say I'm in desperate need of change
I'm depressed and I'm exhausted
But I'm not one that you can save and that's okay
But what the fuck is being something more
I'd count these lucky stars if I could make it to twenty-four
And who's to say I'm in desperate need of change
I'm depressed and I'm exhausted
But I'm not one that you can save and that's okay
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7. |
Strangers
03:36
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I've been sleeping like shit
This whole world makes me feel sick
I've been stuck in my depression
Painting the world as a cruel lesson
I'm a prick
And I treat my friends like shit
If you could only see the thoughts inside my head
Well of course it had to rain
It's not like I had plans today
I'll just walk the empty halls of a
House that I grew up in
It's hard to feel ok
When these eyes in picture frames
Only see the person outside
To world I'm only skin deep
Was I like them?
Was I pure?
Did I even have a chance to feel secure?
Well I’m falling asleep in my bed
But I can’t lay my head
Where strangers slept instead
I’m facing the depths of my mind
Intentions inside
That I wished would die
But I’m still alive
Now stop, I hate to ask this
Is there peace inside the storm?
‘Cause it sure as hell ain’t quiet
But the sound just tempts me more
To drown myself in alcohol
In caffeine, music, fuck it all
If nothing here is worth a shit
Is it time that I admit it’s all my fault?
It’s all my fault
Well I’m falling asleep in my bed
But I can’t lay my head
Where strangers slept instead
I’m facing the depths of my mind
Intentions inside
That I wished would die
But I’m still alive
I’m falling asleep in my bed
But I can’t lay my head
Where strangers slept instead
I’m facing the depths of my mind
Intentions inside
That I wished would die
But I’m still alive
Well I’m falling asleep in my bed
But I can’t lay my head
Where strangers once slept
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8. |
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Katherine, haven’t seen your face in a while
It’s not like you could even smile
At the thought of I’ve been
And who you couldn’t be
How’s life, your dog, and how’s your job?
Was making coffee worth the heartache
That you left us
When you walked away
Thought I’m scared and I’m afflicted
I don’t hold a thing against you
I don’t think you’re a bad person
Just someone that I’m not used to
So I guess I’ll never see you
I still love you but I still hate you
I still need you but I can’t stand you
Is there any other way
To let this go
Katherine, I hope you’re doing well
Do you still wish I’d burn in hell
Some nights I wish I would too
But I’m getting better still
Is life the way it was before
We fell asleep on your friend’s floor
Are you mad I took Dino Crisis?
I’m not sorry
Thought I’m scared and I’m afflicted
I don’t hold a thing against you
I don’t think you’re a bad person
Just someone that I’m not used to
So I guess I’ll never see you
I still love you but I still hate you
I still need you but I can’t stand you
Is there any other way
To let this go
Thought I’m scared and I’m afflicted
I don’t hold a thing against you
While I’m not the greatest person
I don’t act like how I used to
So I’ll never fucking see you
I’ll always love you but always hate you
It’s not your problem, I’m not your issue
Is there any other way
To let this go
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